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Beer is a fountain of energy. Beer is the water of an oasis that a person who gets lost in a desert finally finds after one week wandering. Beer is a magic potion that relaxes the stiffness of all muscles and changes fatigue into appetite. Beer enhances happiness and lessens sadness. Beer for man is water for fish, gasoline for cars, and blood for vampires. Beer is the greatest ever lubricant for people who meet for the first time. Beer helps you to approach a person who you love; beer facilitates conversations; and drinking beer is the easiest way to forget the pain of a broken heart. Unlike drugs that make us high but are not delicious, beer is delicious and also makes us high. Beer gives us round-trip tickets to the heaven that usually accepts us only with one-way tickets.
(I submitted this essay(?) to an English composition professor when I was an undergrad. The professor loved this so much that he read it out in class!) |